after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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