yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
