I understand why you refuse to be sober now
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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