Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
