did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
