hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
