..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
