Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Never underestimate the power of titties
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
