dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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