We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
