i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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