THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
