sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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