Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
We don't watch enough power rangers
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
