They should really pass out barf bags in church
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize
