Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
