I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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