guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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