So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
