You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
