that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize