I'm jealous of your bromance
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
