Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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