Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
