dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
