So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
