Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize