don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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