fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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