yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Can vaginas get frostbite?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
