The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
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