I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize