Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
