Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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