the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
