Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
