Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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