Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
