Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
