discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
