How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize