to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
