R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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