Can Purell be used as lube?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
