Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
we should paint friendship bongs
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