Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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