They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Can I color on your dick again?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
