Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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