you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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