Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
