We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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