pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
