mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
