Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
