the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I look better un-naked...
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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