All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
God, I missed his penis.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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