how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Just pee around me
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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