Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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