the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
This baby is an asshole
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
