do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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