I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
